I have taken the opportunity of being home to partake in many webinars, seminars and Summits regarding the Path of the Priestess/Goddess. This Path has been calling to me for years now, I suddenly realized: at first in whispers, and now more loudly. These online programs kept popping up and I kept signing on until I no longer desired to even watch movies on Netflix or Prime altogether (I stopped watching mainstream TV 3 years ago) and committed to ‘living my life in ceremony’ as Shaman Fredy Puma from the Andes mountains has inspired me to do. In my artwork new Goddesses and Priestesses have been showing up, emerging from the collaged backgrounds as I build layer upon layer over old paintings. A metaphor for the New Pattern of my life? Seems reasonable…

I have been studying the teachings of St. Hildegard of Bingen – An amazing 12th century Benedictine Abbess who could have been writing about today! Reading and learning about alternative stories of Mary Magdalene, Mother Mary, Hathor, Isis, Circe, Cleopatra and many more powerful ‘ancient’ women whose stories are coming back to light. This has prompted me to  write ‘Herstory:’

History is marked by wars, Herstory by peace.

History recounts dates and facts, timelines of kingdoms and kings.

While Herstory flows through time and space riding on angels’ wings.

Male energy drives the war machines, Female-the looms that weave.

Women create a Sisterhood that sails above men’s turbulent waves

entwining the threads of our inner strength

telling stories of how we were saved

by one another’s whispered tales

that now we can share by choice.

Together we stand side by side as

Herstory gives them a voice.

It is difficult to believe a year has cycled around since the world shut down due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I had returned from my vacation in Florida on March 13th, 2020 and it was in the airports that I realized something momentous was taking place. The terminals were eerily deserted, my flights re-scheduled and  gates changed several times while I was at the airport. The planes were pretty empty also which was disconcerting, even as I enjoyed having extra room in my row. I arrived home safely which is more than can be said for people caught in the worldwide desperation to ‘get back home’ wherever in the world that happened to be. Everything was changing. The world was becoming a new place, reinventing itself daily.

When 2020 turned into 2021 I decided to challenge myself to learn new technologies and methods of expressing myself through art. It’s not like I need more challenges than are presented in the world each day. These are personal to my life and will not sound like challenges to most other people. I started an Instagram account in January – pattycarley50 – in order to share my artwork and writings. It has been a fun project and I have already connected with people I haven’t heard from in quite some time.

So…2 technological missions accomplished! My next challenge is to submit my writings to publications and contests. No grand prizes yet but I plane to continue submitting my work. The practice of reading poems and stories keeps me focused and dedicated to writing each day. Following is a ‘non-winner’ containing the word icicles.

icicles on eaves

tears that freeze while spilling down

plash into my heart

Over the past year I have participated in many online art classes, spiritual enhancement courses, goddess/priestess rituals, seasonal practices. Each has shown me something I need to learn, a new way of looking at life and people, a new way of expressing myself.

I have loved them all!

Well…we certainly got new adventures-staying away from loved ones and our work environments for the most part; figuring out how to use Zoom, Skype and Facetime on our electronic devices so we could still see people and do our work from home; trying to get our money back from the airlines, vacation places and Amtrak for trips not taken; and finally understanding this pandemic is not going away any time soon and it is a dangerous, insidious little bug.

Gratefully, I live near a lovely lake and I was able to sit on a dock each morning and again at sunset as soon as the weather permitted in the Spring, and watch Nature unfurl while furry and feathered creatures were hatched/born near me. I wrote and sketched and painted, consulted my Goddess card decks, performed rituals, had fires in my backyard, watched the stars, planets and moon wax and wane at night.  As it became colder and darker in December and I could no longer be outside for any length of time, I found it more difficult to stay optimistic about the future of this planet and Her inhabitants.  However, I signed up for several online Advent and Solstice retreats involving rituals, artwork, music and  celebrations which gave me renewed hope and an eagerness to say goodbye to 2020 and look ahead to 2021 and all this year has to offer me. During one of the retreats I was reminded of a poem I wrote many years ago – in 1993 as it turns out – that captured the Christmas Spirit back then and does again today.

The Gifting

I did not see at once he sported angel’s wings.

He stood on a street corner in busy downtown Troy

dancing and singing to his own private band,

asking for spare change from the passersby

who answered with polite refusals, heads hanging down.

I approached him with coins in hand and smiled into sky-blue eyes.

‘Have a beautiful day, lady!’ as he danced a happy jig,

threw his hands into the air.

An angel he was in blue jeans carrying his halo in his smile.

He blessed my life from that day forth

in exchange for my spare change.

I spent most of July and August out-of-doors either by the lake or in my backyard. I immersed myself in Nature learning to sit quietly and welcoming birds and wild creatures of land and lake, water and airborne bugs to come near to me. I luxuriated in the hot sunlight, cool breezes coming off the lake and the smoke of my little backyard campfires. The clouds held messages for me in their constantly shifting shapes while the hummingbirds sent whispered salutations on their wings. Many Goddesses and Native Priestesses came to me in visions and dreams and found their way onto my canvases and sketchbook pages.                                                                                       

Haikus    

On July 17th I decided to do a silent retreat day at my Enchanted Cottage. I dedicated this one to Mary Magdalene since she has been appearing to me in my thoughts and daydreams, maybe in my night dreams also, but I don’t remember those. The first set of Haikus are for Mary and the second set from my musings lakeside and in my backyard the same day.

a plain name, Mary

it holds the whole universe

she is the Beloved

think, say what you please

she cares naught for your thoughts

she knows her true self

the rose, the lily

symbols of Mary’s pure heart

abide in my garden too

raindrops pelting down

each one a whisper, a word

Heaven’s telegraph

hawk screeches: Listen!

salmon gulps: Trust inner knowing!

wisdom from my cards

squirrels everywhere

zigzag across fence and yard

mirroring my thoughts

wind chimes dance on breeze

water ripples on bird bath

incense wafts on wind

I have always loved this quote of Einstein’s:

‘There are two ways to live life – one as if nothing is a miracle and one as if everything is.’

As I have had enormous amounts of time to contemplate my life, and Life in general, over the past several months of enforced Retreat I have come to believe life is ‘both – and’ as far as miracles go. Life since mid-March has been filled with anxiety, fear and eventual surrender to what is happening around the world right now. So, any little thing that is beautiful or sounds enchanting or sails by my vision into the heavens seems like a miracle. And it is! On the other hand, everything in the world is appearing and happening and evolving as it should so is not a miracle but just Life rolling out in front of me. And it is!

I feel it is a Miracle I am alive at all in this wondrous, random universe and also perfectly reasonable that I Am here. Why not be here now? I have my part to play, whatever that might be, and I pray I can be a source of strength or solace to someone else on this Path we collectively find ourselves on. Everything that transpires now is a miracle and also natural: a paradox, the Great Paradox (as I am learning through the Shamanism teachings  I have been listening to online).

So…as I sat by the lake each morning at dawn’s early light this summer I started writing about the ‘miraculous wonders of Nature’ surrounding me. These flora and fauna don’t know I see them as miracles, they just Are:

Lakeside Haikus

lake is a mirror

reflecting sky and trees

ducks paddle past me

eagle, heron, hawk

gliding with outstretched wings

I sit in silent awe

silently she glides

eyes and ears alert for foe

mother duck on patrol

splash and flash of hooves

frolicking on  yonder shore

teenage deer show off

ripples on lake surface

turtle, fish or leaping frog

stir the water’s soul

flap, flap, flap, flap, glide

paddle, paddle, paddle, glide

I alone don’t glide

bird stands on a rock

wings outstretched to catch a breeze

lovely fan dancer

ghost moon riding high

paused betwixt new and full

luminous halfling

sun peeks through trees

lotus petals open wide

greet the day smiling

Then I wrote about my human experience as contemplated lakeside during my personal silent retreat July 5th:

my words drop like stones

how will they ripple out-out

open your ears and heart

sitting in silence

thoughts flit like butterflies

by noon they cease

time and space are one

pay attention to your dreams

they whisper the truth

life is illusion

dip your toe in the waters

stir your reality